Wagon Ruts are Over-Rated

I wondered how I'd feel today after a month's absence from leading worship - the longest I've been out of the pulpit in recent memory.  I pondered if it would be difficult trying to find words to express all that I had heard and seen during the past several weeks.  And I worried that all the good insights, intentions and commitments I've made to reflect these upgraded ministry tools and spiritual experiences would evaporate in the ethos of the familiar.

Phew!  Worries unfounded.  It felt good to be back and see everyone, and good to preach again (even if it was only a meditation and not a full sermon).  And I felt "different" - still me, but different.  It was a good feeling.  I found myself listening "differently" - a striking and surprising experience.  I liked it.  Taking this different road instead of walking back into the wagon ruts worn deep from years of use still is a bit scary - but also very exciting.  And peaceful.  And "me."  Oh how good it feels to be me!

Before leaving for San Anselmo I noticed the topic I'd preach from upon my return - Jesus and the healing of the man with the "unclean spirit."  I sighed and wondered what in the world I would ever say about such a challenging topic.  Today, the words flowed easily because they came from my heart - I do indeed believe in a God of healing and transformation.  Not only have I seen it in others, I have lived it myself.  What a gift that this ministry of healing and transformation wasn't limited to a few brief years during the adult life of Jesus, but is part of the very nature of all life embraced by our Creator.  To this reality I am happy to testify.

Now comes the hard part - living up to the personal and professional goals I have set for myself.  Goals blessed by my supervisor (as long as I don't start judging myself when meeting them is a challenge), and goals that will stretch me because they keep me walking down my road less traveled.  I'll take it one day at a time, and perhaps in a few months I will be able to testify to the reality of changing life-long behavior patters.  Can I learn to do things differently?  Can I learn new behaviors?

Can you?  Can you find one or two places that leave you feeling stuck and blocked from the energizing, healing love of God?  Can you imagine a different way of living/seeing/reacting and responding that might help shift that stuck and blocked reality?  Can you imagine positive, health promoting and grace supported change?

See it - embrace it - find your own road less traveled.  I invite you to step out of one of your own well-worn ruts, and enjoy walking through the grass in God's garden.

With love,
Kim