The "continuous" nature of the torrential rains ended by this morning, which made room for a new sport that folks here in San Anselmo know well - trying to run errands around the rain storms. As soon as I saw the sun, I headed off to Whole Foods to hear my favorite birds and get produce for this final week of study. That there were no birds riffing in the trees should have been my first clue that something was up.
By the time I was ready to walk to my car (which was parked in one of the spaces closest to the door), I could not see the car for the torrential rain. I looked at my canvas shopping bag filled with produce and paper bags filled with stuff, and sat down at the counter. The rain had won. It eventually eased up enough that I could see the car again, so I made a mad dash (as much as I dash) to the car in the pouring rain, and got in the car just in time for the rain to stop and the sun to come out. Rain 1, Kim 0. We did this a few more times with the remaining errands, until we were tie at Rain 2, Kim 2. Tonight's venture back to St Nicholas Orthodox Church for Vespers (sans rain) means that I ended the day ahead. But I suspect that the rain has memory, and knows that it won hands down yesterday, and probably will again tomorrow. Mother Nature always has the last word!
In class yesterday we were challenged to remember that "God is present in ordinary human experience all the time (at all times) but we don't always notice God's presence." This presence may be subtle, but is pervasive. Challenging words! I joke about "Mother Nature" having the last word, but there are times when I am so distracted that I don't even see God in the beauty of creation.
But I did today - God got my attention and took my breath away this morning. I had to write the experience down in my journal for fear that I'd forget it - the mind so easily forgets the experiences of God. And it made me wonder...if indeed God is present in ordinary human experience all the time, at all times, and in all ways, what would it be like if I started looking for God - really paying attention to God - in all aspects of experience? What would the quality of my time and experiences be like if I could see God in them?
What if I were aware of God's presence when doing the dishes and cleaning up the house...see God in the beauty of nature (easier to do)...see God when sitting in traffic, or a three-hour lecture, or three hour meeting (harder to do)...or when I am discouraged, or in pain, or exhausted (harder still), or having a "mountain-top experience (easy), or when feeling loved (easier) or loving another (easier still), or when feeling alone and unknown for who I am in my heart (very hard)! Yet if it is true that God is present in ordinary human experience all the time, God is present in the pain and in the love, on the mountain top and in the meeting. The question is not if God is present, but if I am aware of God's presence.
Awareness - it is both a disposition (attitude), and a skill that can be learned. What a relief! I can learn to be more aware - more attuned to God's presence. And as with any skill, my awareness will grow with practice and my score will improve:
Kim's Awareness: 1, God's Presence: Infinite
I invite you to think about those times when you have been acutely aware of God's presence - feel again what that experience was like. And then consider what it would be like to become more aware of God's presence in ordinary human experience. How would the quality of your life change if your awareness of God increased?
With love and prayers,
Kim
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