Trials are certainly not the subject of Epiphany - the day we would have celebrated at church yesterday had it not been for continued extreme weather. So no choruses of We Three Kings and presentation of our gifts for the people of Honduras (two members of our community are leaving on Thursday for a medical mission to the poorest of the poor in Honduras and we planned on bringing specific needed items to offer as gifts - like the Magi - so they could take them on their mission trip).
No church - no chance to share our gifts (right now) - no leaving the house. Sigh.
I have a bench near the big picture window in my breakfast nook - it is a cozy place for me to sit and read whilst looking out at the beauty of creation. I often pray there. Late Sunday morning I found my way to the bench (with devotionals in hand) to have a time of reading and prayer and gazing at the beauty of creation. I watched the heavy snow - then rain - then sleet - then more snow - then torrential rain falling outside of my window. For an area that sees little precipitation, we were certainly cracking any remaining records!
I was moved by the Epiphany reflection offered by Richard Gaillardtz (a professor at Boston College) entitled The Great Manifestation (which is what the word Epiphany means). He writes:
The feasts of Nativity (Christmas) and Epiphany are bound together. Christmas invites our contemplation of the mystery of the Incarnation: God became human in Jesus of Nazareth. With the feast of Epiphany the camera view widens to take in a range of human responses to the Incarnation. Perhaps these epiphanies led the wise men, the witnesses to Jesus' baptism, and the wedding guests at Cana to recognize that they need not escape the world to find God; God had come to them. If Christmas celebrates the Incarnation, Epiphany calls forth the spiritual habits of recognition. Do we have the spiritual vision to identify the humble and unexpected epiphanies occurring daily in our own lives? Are we as driven as the wise men to seek out the presence of God in the embrace of our spouse or child, in the face of an annoying coworker, in the panhandler on the street corner?
What a great call to us for this Season of Epiphany - to seek out the presence of God who is always in our midst! It is easy to experience God in those sunshine and bunny rabbit moments - with butterflies and rainbows rounding out the picture. But what about seeking God in the harder places (like the annoying coworker or the challenging circumstances that sweep into our lives like a whirlwind - unbidden and unwelcome). Can we seek God in the ordinary stuff of life - good or bad? Is God always present - and when we are unaware of God's presence is that due to God's absence or our lack of perception?
After my prayer time I continued to ponder these ideas as I worked on some paperwork...until I heard the first loud drip...followed by another...until the drips quickly joined together to resemble a mini Niagara Falls coming from the ceiling above me (and above my computer)! By the time I moved furniture and found my bucket, the one leak had grown into three main leaks - one of which was pouring through my overhead light. Water was coming in everywhere!
Now I don't know about you, but I am a one bucket household. The race was now on to find large enough bucket substitutes that I could lift and empty. The next few hours were a blur as the rain kept falling inside and outside my house. I was wet - cold (the heating was working just fine but I felt frozen) - and frustrated. Having just put a new roof on the house last year, this was not in the plan!
There were moments of tears as well as moments of using my expanded vocabulary - the one I reserve for moments when I am only overheard by family or close friends. To say I was feeling discouraged was an understatement.
Then I remembered the reading from earlier today - what would it be like to seek God even in the challenging circumstances of life? This certainly was challenging - what if I changed my focus from my frustration to looking for God?
I would like to tell you that as I had this epiphany the heavens immediately closed the doors to the firmament and thus stopped the rain from falling - or that I heard the faint chorus of angels as the water stopped pouring from my ceiling. Or (even better) - a legion of brooms and buckets appear a la the Sorcerer's Apprentice, but the water they fetch is inside my house and they carry it outside to be dumped down the storm drain (I can get quite imaginative when wet, cold and frustrated). But of course none of those things happened.
What did happen is that my attitude changed - my stress level dropped - my sense of humor returned - as did my perspective. The water was still coming in - but I was in a better place to deal with it. By focusing on where God was present now I found myself supported - upheld - and just a little bit peaceful. And God was present - just not how I expected...or wanted (with dancing brooms carrying buckets).
It is impossible to escape trying situations - trials come to us all and sometimes they require multiple buckets! Often they come without invitation or explanation and are completely outside of our control. Sometimes they are the direct results (or unintended consequences) of our decisions. But whatever brings these trials into our lives, we can use them as opportunities to practice the spiritual disciplines that transform our hearts and world. And that brings us to another definition of the word trial: To test something to assess its suitability or performance. Trials give us a chance to test the values and behaviors we say we believe in. We can then assess what is working or what needs to be discarded or rethought - or what just needs more practice.
Thoughts from a one bucket gal living through a three bucket situation -
Kim
