Tomb/Womb Time - or - the Peace that Passes Understanding

I have always loved Holy Saturday.  Richard Rohr calls it "liminal time" - the time after death and before resurrection.  A time to rest and allow things to come together.  Tomb - womb - interesting.

There are many things I do each year during Lent in order to prepare my heart for Easter.  They are rituals and experiences that I love, and I find comfort and strength in moving through these touchstones of the Lenten journey.  In the end, the hope (goal?) is that my heart will be more open to experiencing God's presence in my life - more open to that resurrection energy, that can then empower me for service.  Sadly, I was  unable to do most of the Lenten rituals that are so meaningful to me, and I confess that I was concerned that I would come to Easter without the joy and peace that comes from intentionally taking this journey.

Then on Friday - unexpectedly - an amazing sense of peace overtook me (for no apparent reason - I guess that is why it is called "the peace that passes understanding").  It settled into my heart and opened it like a flower.  I was stunned - awed - and deeply grateful.  Then I remembered again that peace is not something that we can manufacture -  it is a gift, freely given, from our loving God whose hands and feet are pierced.  God knows - yes indeed, God knows...and God understands...and God is with us.

We are not alone as we move through any situation that is like a death - God moves through the situation with us, and promised to bring us from death to life.  We do not have to make it happen - it is the very nature of God to do this.  We can cooperate, but we are not called to do all the heavy lifting.  Jesus did not resurrect himself, roll the stone away, and then relax after all that hard work.  Matthew's Gospel is very clear:  "He has been raised."  God's love in action - for us all.

I allow this love and peace to fill me to overflowing, and look forward to bringing this joy to tomorrow's Celebration of the Resurrection.

Deep peace,
Kim

Just because...

Just because a person took the time to write a book (that I have never read - and probably would not read), and just because another person read that book and found it to be meaningful, and just because that other person (whom I've never met), shared a story from that book with a group of teens during a Bible Study (in a church that I probably would never attend - certainly not for a teen Bible Study), and just because one of the other leaders for this group was touched by the story and remembered it (even though she has never read the book), she was able to share the story with me today.

And the story was exactly what I needed to hear!

I stand humbled and in awe of the creative ways God continues to speak!

Never underestimate the creative ways in which God might speak through you -

Blessings for your Holy Week journey,
Kim

"Enoughness" - and Hitching Posts

I absolutely love this word - enoughness.  It leapt off the page as I read today's meditation in Joan Chittister's daily devotional entitled "The Rule of Benedict:  A Spirituality for the 21st Century."  In the same paragraph she uses a word that I like far less:  dependence.  She manages to put them together in a way that invites further reflection:

"We live in a culture that sees having things as the measure of our success.  We strive for a life that sees eliminating things as the measure of internal wealth.  Enoughness is a value long dead in Western society.  Dependence on God is a value long lost.  Yet, enoughness and dependence on God may be what is lacking in a society where consumerism and accumulation have become the root diseases of a world in which everything is not enough and nothing satisfies."  (p 235).

Ouch.  I feel the pinch of enoughness as I go through the ritual of sorting through "stuff" - what is saved, what is given away, what is sold?  How much is enough?  I usually find downsizing to feel liberating, but for some reason I am not there - yet.  Instead, I am finding memories and their "things" to be a bit sticky, and hard to release.  Yesterday I spent a few hours in the yarn closet, sorting out yarn for the sale I am having next weekend.  I picked up a cone of wool purchased in Orkney in 2000; silk from my studies in Denmark; cotton from my favorite place in Arizona; amazing wool from northern New Mexico - the week I spent learning rug weaving in Los Ojos.  I did not speak Spanish, and the woman on the loom next to mine did not speak English, yet she taught me so much about feeling the weaving - it was an amazing experience.  Wool from Iran that I bought from the teacher in London who spent a week teaching me how to tie knots for Persian rugs - she had learned the art in Iran, and brought back wool, tools, and many memories.  She shared them with me as I made thousands of knots - trying to teach my fingers to weave in a new way.  So many memories - yesterday my fingers ached to hold a shuttle and be part of weaving cloth.  Maybe sometime soon; right now I am busy weaving my life.

I do not know what to do with Joan's call to dependence on God.  I never know where to draw that line, thinking of the Sufi saying:  Praise Allah, and tie your camel to a post.  I pray the Prayer of Abandonment each day, but often end it with "but please know that I am willing to do my part - and will - as soon as I know exactly what that part is."  I do not want to be a lazy disciple (I tell myself).  I am willing to do the work - God does not have to do it for me (I even feel virtuous saying that).

Then I remember that here in the wilderness, it is not my hard work, virtue, or cleverness that is going to move me through this experience.  Instead, it is openness, awareness, and my willingness to respond to God's presence that will make the difference.  Unless I slow down and pay attention, I will miss the water and honey, and subtle directions that lead me home - wherever home is.

What would it mean to integrate enoughness and dependence on God - to make one of two, as the Gospel of Thomas would say.  What might that look like?

Resting for the night - and then walking on,
Kim