Mid-2005 was a tumultuous time in my life. One afternoon I was in the main weaving room of the Manse in Scotland, weaving something on my Leclerc loom. I was inches away from the window - I could easily lay my hand on the glass without moving. Lost in thought, I continued weaving, until there was a flash of movement outside the window. I looked up and was stunned to see a sparrowhawk sitting on the ledge of the window, staring at me.
I put down my shuttle, and kept looking - transfixed by the encounter. She had yellow piercing eyes and just stared at me - I was so still that I think I stopped breathing. I slowly raised my hand towards the window - then stopped. We just held each other's gaze - for what seemed like time completely out of time. And then she flew away. In moments of difficulty she would surprise me by returning - often to the clothes dryer in the back garden - and always to the terror of the guests at the bird feeders. She was never again as close as she was that day - but the comfort and strength she brought me stayed with me during a difficult transition time. A mentor said she came to me as a spirit guide.
I remembered her today as I went out into the back yard to sit and clear my head, and was buzzed by a kestrel - it flew through the yard within feet of me! I looked up and its mate was sitting in the very top of the pine tree on the other side of the fence - facing me - looking at me. I sat down, and spent some time out of time engaged with the kestrel. Another transition time in my life - and another hawk comes to my aid. My mentor back in Scotland would be so pleased that I noticed!
My mentor from back home is an amazing person - able to combine the best of western medicine (as a physician) with Shamanism (trained in Peru) with the essence of Christianity whilst being open to other spiritual expressions. She demonstrated to me that the path was greater than any one tradition could encompass, and that there was nothing wrong with walking your path while keeping your eyes open to other realities.
So much of how I experience God falls easily within the Christian tradition (thank goodness Christianity is broad and diverse)! Yet the path is greater, and wider, and very unpredictable - and includes things I cannot begin to understand...
...like spirit guides who fly in when needed and remind me that I am not alone, and can access strength that had slipped from my awareness. I played around online tonight and looked up the medicine that Kestrel brings. The results were interesting, and included the following:
"If Kestrel flies into your life, it may be asking you to stimulate your mental powers and move speedily and smoothly into the future that you desire. Go with the flow, paying attention to the movement of every situation and be responsible for your actions...Kestrel teaches speed and action of thought must be done with a balance of mind and heart along with patience to act at the opportune time. Kestrel aids in seeking out with clarity by illuminating the path...Kestrel's gifts are patience, concentration and precise action, accuracy of movement, speed and grace, acting at the right time."
Many of those phrases resonate with aspects of my current transition. What a loving gift from the universe (which, as God's body, means what a loving gift from God). Steps need to be taken and some concentration, precision, wise timing and grace would be most helpful. Speed is also needed - and as a methodical plodder, speed isn't my default response.
But when it is time to move into a new phase of the transition, it is time. I am blessed to have Kestrel as my reminder that I am able to move into and through this transition.
I note with a smile that transition is the name given to the most painful part of labor before birth . How true!
How did God speak to you today?
Embracing change (even though it is like hugging a cactus),
Kim
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