You studied what?

Day four back in the church, and someone asked the big question:  "What exactly was it that you  studied during your time away?"  A difficult question to answer in a few words (or a paragraph, or an essay, or a novel).  I was exposed to so many things, from new writers in eco-theology to worship resources with a social justice theme; from Sunday School curriculum that works extremely well with young children to group process techniques that will enhance life in the congregation.  But if there was one topic - one experience - one focus that summed up the heart and soul of the intensive, it was this:

I learned and practiced a new way of listening. 

I have the constitution of a listener - I have been doing this all my life.  When he was young, David (my son) got annoyed when strangers would strike up a conversation with me and tell me their life story while we waited at the subway stop.  And listening is something that I love to do.  But I was trained to listen through some very specific filters - I have the ears of a pastor/pastoral counselor and problem-solver.  I fix things - resolve things - solve things. 

But contemplative listening is a very different type of listening - it is a listening that hears the words that come from the heart, and follows the echo of God's presence as the person speaks.  Listening to the heart and for the echo of God is very different from listening for the clues to solve the problem.  For one thing, this type of listening isn't about solving anything (picture me going through withdrawal as I tried this for the very first time).  It isn't about generating options or solutions, and if I do it well, I may say very little (again, an interesting thing to picture - me not saying much)!  If I am listening deeply in this new way, it is the person speaking who will, with my gentle guiding and the presence of the Spirit, find for themselves the evidence of God's presence and work in their life. 

Contemplative listening creates a safe, healing space where a person speaking can be truly heard by another, and by themselves.  They begin to speak, perhaps first from the head, and eventually from the heart.  As they make this spiral journey inward, gentle and minimal prompting from the listener supports them as they go deeper and deeper into their truth.  Through this journey they begin to identify how God is at work in their life, and gain a greater sensitivity for God's presence.  This greater awareness creates a wonderfully open, free space from which discernment can happen and decisions can be made.  It is a joy to be part of this journey, known as Spiritual Direction.

For the next two years I will focus on developing these skills as a Spiritual Director, so that I can do this work both with individuals and with groups (boards, committees, new member classes, special educational groups, those gathered for worship, groups who seek to make decisions - the possibilities are endless)!  Then for my final few years I will use this skill as the foundation for looking at the minister as Spiritual Leader of the congregation, see how spiritual worship practices can help to enhance worship, and how we can build a bridge to those in the community who say they are spiritual, and long for a community, but avoid the church because it is "religious, not spiritual."

But is all begins with listening.

When was the last time you felt someone was truly listening to you?  What feelings do you have when you know someone has truly heard you - heard your heart speak?  Some feel that it is this experience of being heard and known that is the bedrock of all transformation.  An interesting possibility to ponder...

How would your life be different if you were listened to?  How would the world be different if you began truly listening to others?  What thoughts/feelings do you have when you ponder the fact that God is always present to listen?

What might change in the world through your respectful, caring, listening presence?

With love,
Kim