The Rain, a Lake, and 4 Drunk Bikers

Teachers come in many forms.  Yesterday I sat and watched a grasshopper eat a blade of grass - I had to slow down and focus in order to appreciate this remarkable teacher.   Today my first teacher was the rain.

I woke up today before dawn, hoping to walk on East Inlet.  But the sky said rain, and I didn't want to risk walking on wet rocks.  I felt a twinge of disappointment, since the trail is where I have powerful encounters with Spirit.  As I thought about this I began to laugh - as if God's presence and interaction with me is determined by my location!  I instead went down and sat on my very favorite bench on the dock of the lake, and opened my heart to, well, whatever might happen.

At first the lake was extremely still - mirror like - reflecting the mountains that surround her on two sides.  The detail of the reflection was incredible!  I thought about the lake - it is very deep and still (at that moment).  Yesterday it had whitecaps, but in this moment it was still.  I felt drawn to that image - the stillness - and allowed myself to settle into a deep place of quiet.

A few minutes later the surface of the lake began to show interesting patterns - delightful designs.  Soon the designs changed and looked almost electric - alive - energetic (it reminded me of that scene from the movie "Close Encounters" when the alien ship and humans began communicating with flashing lights and musical tones).  The patterns danced and played on the surface of the water - deep and still yet alive and energetic!  I was mesmerized by what I was seeing!  And then, out towards the center of the lake, an area the size of a small car began to light up and shimmer like fireworks - diamonds - an incredible display!  I closed my eyes and then looked one more time - it was still there!  Slowly it settled down, and the patterns resumed.  I offered thanks for the possibility of deep stillness with energetic beauty - a display to rival any fireworks show!  Can I find that kind of balance in my life?

In the late afternoon (rain) I drove the Kawuneeche Valley one more time, drinking in the beauty of the Never Summer Mountains (my favorites next to Baldy), all the young trees that did well this summer, and the amazing beauty of the headwaters of the Colorado River.  As the rain increased, I headed back to the cabin to read, rest, and prepare to leave tomorrow.

And there I met my new teachers - four drunk bikers staying in the cabin next to mine.  They have been hard at drinking and smoking since early afternoon (impressive display of empty bottles lining the railing) and are doing this on the deck, so I cannot sit out there, and cannot leave my windows or door open for the smoke.  Even with the cabin buttoned up, I can hear them clearly.  I come here for peace - they come here to party.  And they are my teachers tonight because I do not want to hold onto the feelings I have toward them.  Yes, I feel justified, but what good does it do me to fill my heart and mind with anger, frustration, entitlement and righteous indignation?  It has no impact on them (they seem quite happy - and loud).  I am the one sitting in here contemplating their demise, and stuffing my heart with anger.

I am also in the process of reading David R. Hawkins book "Letting Go - The Pathway of Surrender."  It is one of the best (and most challenging) books I have read this year - even though I do not agree with all his observations.   Learning to acknowledge emotions without feeding them is not easy; choosing to instead strengthen positive emotions is harder still.  It seems tonight I will have ample opportunity to practice these lessons.  Frankly, I would rather not practice this at all - which means I have found another growing edge.

"May they be happy, may they be peaceful, may they be free from suffering.  May they be happy, may they be peaceful, may they be filled with love."  And may they be quiet!  (It is a process...)

Sigh -
Kim