One look at the night sky, and I know why I'm not meant to live in a city - it holds great healing power for me. Gazing deeply into the night reminds me of how it feels to gaze upon someone who is beloved. And perhaps that is what I am doing - gazing into the face of God.
I arrived at the Monastery after a beautiful drive into autumn (thank you, weather forecast, for being wrong). Just a little hint of red and yellow along the roadside...and a velvet covering of sage/gray surrounding White Bird Hill. Each mile brought a deepening of my breath, and freedom to my shoulders (my habitual storage site for tension). Once settled in my room, I began a familiar routine, including sitting at the window and watching the night sky emerge.
Only tonight instead of stars, the sky filled with clouds.
Don't get me wrong, I love a good cloudscape (and the recent weather has meant no disappointment in the cloudscape department). But I wasn't looking for clouds tonight, and started to get up to close the blinds when that inner voice said "wait."
So I waited. Slowly, the clouds disappeared, and a vibrant night sky emerged. What a sight! I watched for the longest time, when I decided more would be better (time to go outside). This was when I realized that I may have remembered to bring half my library with me, but I definitely forgot my jacket. No matter; I bundled up in layers, and headed out through the lounge door to - glory! The leaves are still on the trees (shielding the lights from the Inn), and so from my dark little patch of mud (rain earlier today), I had a brilliant view of the Milky Way. I watched this glorious sight until my joints were frozen and the back of my head felt permanently stuck to my shoulders. I quietly chanted one of my favorite prayer chants: "All my fears fall to you, O Kind One who hears, and knows only love." Then - silence.
Was Joseph Campbell right - is our greatest goal to be able to have our heart beat in sync with the heartbeat of the universe? For a second tonight...perhaps...maybe...
...yes.
Sometimes waiting makes all the difference...as does showing up.
Breathing deeply,
Kim
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