I am preparing to observe my fourth Sabbath - I have managed to maintain a 24ish hour period of Sabbath for the past four weeks. It has surprised me in many ways, not the least of which is how hard it can be to shift into a time of deep "be-ing."
The first Sabbath a month ago was aided by a migraine - taking a 24 hr time out with rest, prayer, and gentle reading felt like a gift. And my head hurt enough that competing possibilities were not attractive.
I upped the challenge with the second Sabbath by unplugging - no computer/emails etc for the 24 hrs. Much to my surprise, I felt like an addict going through withdrawal. That experience provided interesting (and unsettling) data. The truth may set you free, but it isn't always pretty to view.
Sabbath III felt less like detox and more like refreshment. Prayer and rest felt more natural - and I had proof that the zillion of tasks that I thought required immediate attention would wait for another day. I felt myself slowing down, and recalibrating - and was less defensive about what I was not doing. Nice.
I must have been in elementary school when I first heard about the Sabbath (we were required to memorize the Ten Commandments). "Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy" involved going to Sunday School and Church, while avoiding work, shopping or secular entertainment. I remember asking about homework - thinking that it surely would fall under the heading of "work." My Sunday School teacher explained that an exception was made for homework and chores (if we had been unable to finish those things on Saturday). I was not impressed.
Nor did I fully understand what observing the Sabbath meant. To my young mind, it seemed like yet another list of rules to be followed to please the god of rules and regulations - heaven as a police state that monitored our compliance with the rules. And of course, no one can keep all the rules - it was a set up for failure that reinforced the notion of our "fallen nature" - yuk.
What if I had instead been introduced to Sabbath as an invitation to play with God - to relax with God - to rest in God's loving presence - to be myself in the presence of a loving God, instead of trying to please a judgmental god through my compliant behavior (or disappoint that judgmental god through my failures). Perhaps I would have been less scandalized when later in life I encountered the writings of William McNamara and his invitation to Holy Leisure - to generously "waste" large amounts of time with God - to believe that God delighted in my presence and did not need my compliant performance. Perhaps I would have spent less time in self judgment and condemnation, and more easily viewed life through a lens of acceptance and grace.
Play - relax - rest - be - Sabbath as something to be anticipated with joy. And my time for Sabbath is now (literally).
What does Sabbath mean to you? How do you observe it?
Unplugging - and getting ready to rest and play with God,
Kim
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