Thursday, May 8, 2014

Lightening the Heavy Load

Tonight's entry comes from Reno, Nevada - the city that makes pink neon casino fronts and adjacent green backlit buildings "work" (somehow).  The drive today was mostly relaxing, and road construction delays gave me ample opportunity to stop and enjoy the scenery.  There were beautiful blue and yellow wildflowers, and the sand dunes in very windy Nevada looked spectacular.  I used a different word to describe the sand storms generated by the high winds.  The friendly people at Sawtooth Station are doing well - hoping that the winds die down so spraying can be done (crops, I assume).  And the "best sign of the trip thus far" no longer resides with "Chicken Dinner Road," but was won by one of the TA stores on I 80 between Winnemucca and Reno.  The sign was a great reminder that even in Nevada, the devil is in the details.  Either the text needs to be proofread before the big flashing electronic sign is turned on, or there are some bulbs missing in the display.  Either way, when you have the letter "u" in place of the letter "o" in the word slot, your large flashing sign does not read:  Winning Slot Machines!!!!!   One can only hope it was an error.

Although this will be a busy week, it is also a time to unwind and relocate center.  The driving will help, as will my time in California.  My traveling companions this trip are old friends.  I am re-reading Jeff Foster's "The Deepest Acceptance: Radical Awakening in Ordinary Life."  Letting go and acceptance continue to be growing edges for me, and I hope that a second read of this very good book will help me to have a heart-grasp of the ideas.  Walter Brueggemann's new book "Sabbath as Resistance: Saying No to the Culture of Now" has already stopped me in my tracks - in a good way - and given me much to ponder.  I assume Richard Rohr will do the same in his new book "Silent Compassion:  Finding God in Contemplation." Ditto for Henry Cloud, as I find myself, a year later, re-reading one of his best books on leadership:  "Necessary Endings."  Anam Thubten and Pema Chodron also came along for the ride - they remain faithful companions on my journey.

The place that has most of my attention tonight is the last paper for my DASD/DMin work for this year - this is also the last assignment for the DASD, which will be completed with the submission of this paper.  The course is on discernment, and the focus has been our own discernment journey - noticing how we notice God at work in our life.  The assignment was brilliant - during the Fall of 2013, we had to make ten journal entries (approximately one per week) whenever we would notice something in or around us that had a "God resonance" to it.  After completing the entries, reading the texts for the course, and attending Intensive, we were instructed to go back to these ten entries and analyze them as if there were a text, looking for evidence of God's
leading/guidance/presence/challenge/comfort/etc.  Engaging the course readings, lectures, small group experiences and journal entries, we were to observe what had taken shape - what had evolved - how God speaks through all of this.

The unfolding results are profound and elegant in their simplicity.  I am amazed.  And I have to stop saying "I don't know" - because I do know; I do have the answers to some key questions and concerns that have weighed heavily on my heart.  The answers have been there all along, waiting until I was ready to hear them.  And live them.

Sometimes we make things harder than they need to be.  What a blessing when truth mirrors us back simplified (thank you, Joni, for that image - even if slightly reimagined from your "Refuge of the Roads").

May heart and humor and humility also lighten my heavy load - and yours,
Kim

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