I am a lousy patient. The "virus du jour" morphed into bronchitis, and I found myself faced with an invitation to do some work on one of my growing edges - self care. This involved making a commitment to getting some rest.
I do not rest well. I work well, but rest - not something I've focused on. The medication helps me to think about resting because I feel terrible when taking it. Last night the terrible feeling spilled out of the physical symptoms into my emotions - the world felt very small. And dark.
Structure - it helps to have a little bit of structure when trying not to slip head-first down the water slide of despair. I approached today with just that little bit of structure - prayer time, time to read and rest, time to do a few light things then rest - a gentle day. Structure involves making sure I do things that give me joy - even (or especially) little things. Open the blinds to watch the snow fall; put on soothing music. Read something enjoyable. Stay warm. Sip tea. Keep it simple and positive.
And it felt like "enough" that I was able to do those things. With each sip of tea and turn of the page, I felt the darkness of last night recede, and felt comforted that there would be no slipping down into despair. This was unpleasant, but it would pass. The gift of perspective felt just like what it was - a gift.
I leaned back into my pillows and started to close my eyes for a nap, which out of the corner of my eyes I saw - puppies! I have never before claimed excitement over living on a cul-de-sac in a suburban subdivision, but today, right outside my bedroom window, I saw two labrador puppy reasons for liking my neighborhood. The new family two doors down came outside to play in the snow, and lo and behold, they came out with puppies. And (if that wasn't enough AHHHHHH for one day) they also have a toddler! Forget the nap - it was puppies and young child time. It was delightful to watch the puppies discover the snow as they pranced and raced and played with each other and their family. The child discovered snow angels while the puppies stalked snow shovels and chased snow balls. There was laughter and fun - snow flying everywhere! And the little one helped Mom to build a snow pyramid (I think it was meant to be a snowman, but with western powder, a pyramid is what they got). And I had the best seat in the house to watch it all - overflowing with gratitude for the simple joy I felt watching the unexpected events outside my window.
I would have rather been out playing with my new neighbors, or busy with other activities - or just feeling better! But those were not options for today. Instead, just outside my window, I was invited into an Advent gift of joy - totally unexpected.
The best gifts often are...
What unexpected gifts have come into your life recently?
With love,
Kim
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