I write today from my dining room table, with the most amazing view before me. This "breakfast nook" area has large windows looking west, south and north. And due to the wonders of landscaping, I look out at my backyard and onto a row of trees and shrubs, and then over to bigger trees and BIG sky that surrounds a farmer's field. My beloved red-tailed hawks nest in one of those big trees. And even though it is an overcast day (Scotland weather - cold and damp!) the view is glorious. Geese rest in the field, and although (when seated) I cannot see the field itself, I can watch the skeins of geese landing (what a sight - I love how they curve their wings to drop altitude and prepare for landing - so cool)!
The most unusual part of this view is what I cannot see - between my backyard fence and the farmer's field is Meridian Road - hidden (except for the tallest trucks) by the landscaping. It is a muckle busy road - but not from this viewpoint. Trees and shrubbery render it all but invisible.
Some day the farmer's field will go the way of all small farms in Meridian, and be turned into another bland subdivision. The geese will have no place to rest, and I will miss the entertainment of seeing a row of them perched on the roof line of my neighbor's house. And at some point they will probably widen Meridian Road so it can carry more traffic. But today, the geese, clouds and trees have won the day. Bliss.
I am on study leave for the next week - a time to catch up with reading, writing, planning, and my dissertation proposal. And time to prepare for Advent - my favorite season of the church year. I am an confessed Advent junkie - I find the thought of God's love for humanity being so great that God dons human DNA and experiences everything from hunger to heartbreak to be positively irresistible. I count down the days until I can light my first Advent Candle (ten as of today - because I light the first candle Saturday evening after dark, which is the day before the First Sunday of Advent). For candle-lighting, I am on monastery time. And for Advent devotionals, I am on French time. The French once held the custom of celebrating Advent for 40 days (like Lent), and I have an Advent devotional written by a French monk that begins on November 15th. I started reading it last Sunday, which marked 40 days until the Nativity - more bliss.
I enter this study leave heart-broken and weary from the senseless violence and fear erupting in our world - violence that never achieves its stated goals (whether perpetrated by terrorists, or by their victims), and fear that is stoked by leaders who are convinced that, maybe, a violent response will work this time. I shudder as I listen to our politicians ratcheting up the fear - bigger and better - causing good people to step back from their values and make reactive choices fueled by this fear. And with fear as its fuel, the cycle of violence becomes self-perpetuating. History provides us with ample examples of this failed strategy. But it does give us a feeling of being in control - like we are doing something. And we human beings, when faced with something that frightens and overwhelms us, look for ways to be in control - even if those ways are destined to fail. The illusion of control distracts us from the discomfort of our feelings of fear and helplessness, of the reality that the only things we really control are ourselves, and our responses. We can influence other human beings, but we ultimately cannot control them. Leo Tolstoy, who is remembered today in the devotional I read, says it so clearly: "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." And as Eastern and Western Sages have taught us throughout the ages, peace starts with the individual, one person at a time. It starts with ourselves.
To settle my soul and bring peace into my inner world, I will use this week to fast from the news outlets, and email. I will read Jean Vanier's book "Finding Peace." I will keep the daily rhythms of prayer for which I am hard-wired (and which seem so hard for me to keep while I am working), and I will pray for peace, and for our leaders to have the courage to step away from pushing the fear button, and instead begin conversations about the changes and choices that can lead to lasting, sustainable peace. I will complete my worship planning and dissertation proposal. I will weave. I will write. I will simplify my schedule for Advent, and pare down my responsibilities. And I will be still - ever so still - as God prepares my heart to be pregnant with the Spirit, so I can birth peace and love into this world.
How will you prepare for Advent? What will you do to open your heart, mind, and choices to peace, love, and justice? What will help you to carry and birth the essence of the Christ Child into our world?
It is time to prepare for our Advent journey!
Keeping watch for Advent's beginnings,
Kim
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