Lenten Road Trip

One of the few characteristics I shared with my father was a love of long distance driving.  My mother hated riding in the car, and made sure that she could survive within a 10 block radius of home.    Dad, on the other hand, loved the open road, and very much wanted to be a long-haul trucker (mom said no).  In later life he settled for short-haul, and a tow truck.  He let me drive the tow truck once - I loved it.  I'm not sure if one can have a genetic predisposition for such things, but this is one of the only characteristics from dad that I can celebrate.

I felt dad keeping me company today on my long drive into the unknown, especially during the unexpected snowstorm ("Sissy, keep going - if you stop you'll just get stuck").  On the one cross-country trip I took with dad, he used the same approach to deal with a flash flood and tornado - he scared me half to death, and dined on that story for decades!  And we didn't get stuck - we just kept going.  Every time I hear the country song with the refrain "When you're going through hell, keep on going" I think of that trip, and dad - who never had the sense to stop (which was his undoing as often as it was his salvation).

Almost any day is a great day to be under the big Western sky.  I love the West!  I may have been born in Buffalo, New York, but my soul belongs to the Rockies.  Recently I have been wound "as tight as a coiled spring," and this drive was just what was needed to start the process of unwinding.  A plane flight doesn't provide the same soul medicine as hours of sagebrush and wide open spaces.  Even hitting that unexpected snowstorm did little to dampen my mood.  Although hours of country music would please dad, I remembered to bring cds and let Joni, Pema and Croz keep me company (Joni has written the soundtrack for most of my life, Pema is an incredible teacher, and Croz gives me hope that one's creativity can improve with age - and in his case, sobriety).  The first half of Pema Chodron's new teaching was wonderful, but I put it on towards the end of the trip, and had to turn it off when I found myself relaxing way too much - back on went the loud country station!  Dad was once again happy, and I became re-acquainted with the seven deadly sins as reinterpreted by Nashville.

A "discernment road trip" is a unique way to begin the Lenten journey, but you play the card's you're dealt (so says a country song).  Just yesterday on Ash Wednesday I meditated on Chaplain Scott Clark's reflection on the following Franciscan blessing:

"The Blessing of Discomfort - May God bless us with discomfort - at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships, so that we may live deeply and from the heart."

I shared his words at our Ash Wednesday gathering, and found that they were still rumbling inside my heart today as I drove those "miles of endless highways."  Although a large part of the vocational discernment process involves sensing whether or not a congregation and I might be a good match,  that sensing is best done by the heart (assisted by the head).  Church profiles, statistical breakdowns, mission and vision statements, only tell part of the story.  The mind is gifted at seeing patterns and trends; the heart is attuned to essence and Spirit.  In past vocational decisions my mind has made the decisions (either/or); this time, mind is in service of heart (both/and - with heart encompassing mind).  Ouch - I feel a pinch even as I write those words - discomfort over departing from the familiar as I enter unknown territory.  Let the "Lenten Discomforting Process" begin!

My Lenten disciplines this year?  There are several that relate to being a good steward, but the most important one involves intentionally living deeply from my heart - listening through my heart - speaking through my heart - trusting my heart - sharing my heart - learning from my heart.  I can think of no better way to follow in the footsteps of Rabbi Jesus, who lived deeply from his heart, and thus was led deeply into the heart of God.

To be - to dwell - to rest - in the heart of God.  Could that be the ultimate destination of our Lenten Road Trip?  Of our human experience?

If you haven't set out on your Lenten journey, don't wait.  Set out now, in your own way, with your own wonderings.  Make use of the many great resources available to us.  Allow God to set the itinerary and to be both your travel companion, and your destination.  Notice those places of discomfort, let them be your teachers, and see how they might lead you through your own heart and into the heart of God.

Blessings for the journey,
Kim

PS - Most "memorable" stretch of paved road:  The right lane from past Burley, Idaho to Snowville, Utah - a marvel of multi-level/multi-texture pavement.  Best avoided in heavy rain.