How often God hears my plaintive cry of "are we there yet? What a long trip this is!" The challenge of being a caterfly is that all the familiar comforts of caterpillarhood no longer satisfy, but the butterfly wings are not yet ready for flight. What was is gone, and what is becoming isn't here yet.
All there is is now - the caterfly's reality. There is nothing for this morphing creature to do but settle into the liquidity of change and notice what works - what helps - what brings life - and embrace it. What causes the beauty to emerge - the wings to grow and strengthen - what brings lightness of soul?
Memories of life as a caterpillar are strong - sometimes overwhelming. And although I have a growing longing for the flowers and flight, the familiarity of leaf-munching and terra firma is etched deep in my soul. Although I don't yet understand why, I know that I need the experience of the leaves and the earth in order to fly. I need my caterpillarness in order to realize my butterfly self. Both/and - not either/or. I can't be one without the other. And so in the meantime, it is life as a caterfly.
Change - even good change - is hard. I offer thanks for the wisdom that has been shared with me in a hundred different ways, all telling me to notice what brings life and let those experiences nourish me -
- and learn to love being a caterfly.
Transformation happens in its own time. Right now, I want to learn to enjoy the ride.
With wonder,
Kim
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