Re-entry Blackout

I have vivid memories of watching the Apollo space flights.  Take-off was great, but all the excitement and high drama involved re-entry and the splashdown.  Do you remember the communication blackout during re-entry - that time when the capsule was hurtling back to earth and communication was impossible?  We would sit and watch and wait, listening to the commentators talking about the intense heat that was being deflected by the heat shield...how tragedy could strike at any moment...how all we could do was hope and pray until we either saw the streak of light in the sky and parachutes deploy to help gentle the capsule into the ocean, or hear the confirmation of splashdown.  We would wait until the astronauts were helped from the capsule into the awaiting "whatever" that would bring them home. And all would rejoice!

The last twenty-eight days have been my own experience of re-entry black out.  Being back has not been an easy adjustment.  What was so simple and intuitive to do when I was back in Durham working the program has been extremely difficult and challenging back here in Boise.  Finding a new rhythm and balance that takes into account all the new lessons and the reality of my working life is not a seamless fit.  But the stakes are too high to get this wrong.

Big questions have emerged in the midst of re-entry - questions involving the heart and soul of my vocation.  This once again is proof that vocational questions provoke wresting matches "from the forceps to the stone", as Joni Mitchell would say.  I find myself to be strangely unsettled - a sure sign that God is at work in an unexpected way.

I keep coming back again and again to the issue of balance - of how to create space for all the healthy parts of my life to emerge and grow, while providing helpful containment for the less healthy parts.  Structure - plan - objectives and goals - in some ways I have become my own project!  

I sense my role shifting and changing, but am not sure what that means.  In the meantime, I work my program - one day at a time - and try to get that right.  

Today I offer thanks for kind words spoken to me by members of the youth group, for a hug from a little girl who has seen too much misery for her young age,  and for the joy of watching people growing into their vocation,   I saw some blue sky today (thank you, brief rain shower).  And the winter gathering of Quail has begun in our backyard - over 25 and counting!  Seven quail hopped up onto the porch swing - they balanced on the back and arms with a few on the seat, and their movement got their new perch to start swinging.  What a sight!

Balance and momentum - hmmmmm....

How blessed I am to witness such magic.  The rest will sort itself out - in time - one day at a time.

Working life's program,

Kim