Home

All is dark and quiet here on the Camas Prairie.  The retreatants have left to return home to Boise, Mountain Home and Idaho Falls, and I have one last night to collect my thoughts before heading back to the other aspects of my ministry.

The past few days have been full - overflowing - abundant - amazing.  What a joy to be in the company of seven courageous women who don't flinch when looking at the hard questions of life:

How do I experience God's love?
What is healthy for me (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally)?
How much is enough?
How do I rest?
How do I embody God's love and share it?
(and a question added by one in the group) - Who am I, and what am I doing that makes me that?

They willingly joined me in trying new spiritual disciplines, bravely engaged the questions on their heart, and created a safe and loving community for one another - what a privilege to facilitate such an experience!

It has been a very long time since I've led this kind of retreat (as opposed to visioning, conflict resolution, diversity training, leadership development, and ministry discernment and development).  Sigh - sometimes you don't see how skewed the picture has become until you get enough distance and perspective to view it clearly.  My ministry has been way out of balance - I have been dancing to tunes played by others, instead of dancing to God's music in my soul.

As I listened to these amazing women do their spiritual work, I realized that I was getting a precious gift from journeying with them:

I was getting my life and my ministry back.

All it takes is for me to be myself  - not who others want, need, demand, or expect me to be, but who God created me to be - me!  No more apologies and contorting my soul to meet all these other expectations.  Not only is it ok for me to be myself - it is exactly how it is meant to be!

And throughout the cosmos there was a great sigh of relief and shout for joy, for she who had been lost finally found her way home.

Celebrating God's grace,
Kim