Relief or Cure?

I have found it important to have structure during this time of being a "caterfly" - this time of being and becoming.  I'm weaving more  (very good medicine).  I'm trying to coax my body into becoming stronger (not a great lover of exercise, but am learning to tolerate it).  And I'm keeping a set time for prayer every morning and evening (this I love).  In the evening I read a devotional/scripture, and sit with God - often saying nothing.  Then I close with intercessions, and expressions of gratitude.  In the morning I read a devotional/scripture, and sit with God - often saying nothing.   I also set my intentions for the day (forcing myself to write them out so I can reflect on them in a deliberate way), offer thanks and intercessions, and offer the day to God.

Some days pass without any great or small "aha" moments.  But they are rare.  Usually, something attracts my attention.  Sometimes it comes from the devotional; sometimes from scripture.  Sometimes while sitting in silence a thought or memory will present itself in that "pay attention!" way that inspirited things often do.  I have come to discover that the very act of sitting each day, no matter what, morning and night, is the most important part of this process of discipline and prayer.

Some "aha" moments pass quickly.  Others stay, put down roots, and generate a whole new chapter of this transformative journey.  July 24th brought one of those put down roots moments, as I read the following from my favorite devotional and felt my heart and mind click into sync:  

The ancients tell the story of the distressed person who came to the Holy One for help.  "Do you really want a cure?" the Holy One asked.  "If I did not, would I bother to come to you?" the disciple answered.  "Oh yes," the master said.  "Most people do."  And the disciple said, incredulously, "But what for then?"  And the Holy One answered, "Well, not for a cure.  That's painful.  They come for relief."  (Joan Chittister, The Rule of Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century, p 203).

Relief or cure?   Which do I seek?  

Which do you seek?

Kim